sweaty palms and weak knees

Jane text: How much do you love Tokio Hotel?
Ems text: (can't recall) omgomgomglovelovelove...
Jane text: What if I tell you ... let me attend their press conference tomorrow and I'm going to take you with me.

Ems - cannot breathe. UNBELIEVABLE. Text: THANK YOU!!!....

As usual, my report on old news: 05.01.2010: Tokio Hotel

Things were finally shaping up as the twins Tom and Bill Kaulitz (lead guitarist & vocals), Georg Listing (bassist) and Gustav Schfer (drummer) greeted the media with mischievous smiles plastered on their baby faces (except for Gustav who looks shy and emotionally unbalanced), all eyes were on this pop rock band as they were escorted by a handful of people – humourless bodyguards, translator, marketing personnel, publicist etc.

If Germany was an epic album it would undeniably be Tokio Hotel’s record. These are one of many things you will not find in a tourist guide. The band first caught the audience's attention in Magdeburg with their original name Devilish in 2001. Two years later they generated music producer Peter Hoffmann’s interest and landed a deal with Universal Music. The German band then ditched the moniker for Tokio Hotel.

The response was instant. By 2007, the band was invited by the French President to perform at the foot of the Eiffel Tower in front of 600,000 people. “It was cool for us to be successful in Germany. It was so surprising for everyone,” said Bill. It has been a meteoric rise to international fame after winning their first Best New Artist at the VMA 2008 (USA). Bill claimed that their international success came as a shocking surprise.

“Someone told me in five years we will go to Asia, it is never ever!” Bill admitted. Nevertheless the past few weeks of promotion for their pre-concert and latest album Humanoid may have left them overwhelmed by an intense level of fandom. He added, “I really like it when the first time you see the fans; it is always a magical moment. For us, it is really surprising that we have so many fans here and no one expected that.”

The four-piece were armed with a crazy sense of humour and sex loving attitude. “We don’t really like healthy food! I like fried vegetables!” Tom laughs. Just like gravity, I was drawn to the twins’ most unnerving eyes; they were dark and piercing at the same time. Not forgetting Bill’s aggressive upright Mohawk paired with his flawless make up and enviable bone structure. It was all just mesmerizing.

It has been said that good things come to those who wait, that proverb couldn’t be more appropriate. The concert got off to a rainy start at Central Park Avenue, 1 Utama. Despite the crappy weather, they manage to put on a brilliant show. It was absolutely mind-blowing-jaw-dropping. The crowd was stuck in a tight sexy kind of German sauna and I was sucked in by the unique hardcore aural these boys delivered. Thanks to Universal Music Malaysia, TM Group and Janey, it was a good way to kick start my last unemployed-holiday! The boys will be back in town for a concert with MTV, things will definitely going to be smoking hot!

Boys I like.

Tom Kaulitz ♥
[Sorry, I forgot all the links. Please find it on Flickr)

Lets not forget the drummer, Gustav!

my brother and sister, both stucked in the crowd below!

It was a great night.

One drinks to forget, a smoke to blur the vision and a pill to numb the pain. I attend a concert and start work.

Ems is satisfied.

If I become a memory

I was jolted awake by the piercing sound of my sidekick alarm, it is 10:00am. As I hit the off button and throw back the duvet over my heavy head. I realized I was greeted by the smell of a beautiful August. It is a Saturday morning, the surrounding was slightly quiet. There were no birds chirping sweet morning melodies, the air conditioner doesn’t whir, the air-purifier continue puffing out clean air.

For a moment, I can’t get enough energy to shift my body. My arms and legs were outstretched, I lie starfish wide under my yellow bed sheet, wondering why I wasn’t served with a breakfast tray decorated with dewy rosebud in a vase, a shot of fresh-squeezed orange juice, poached egg on toast muffin and pancakes covered with maple syrup. I guess, I am not feeling like myself these days.

Sigh, it is already August.

Each year we get at least one good wish – it is the day you put on the perfect dress adorned with glorious sequins and blow over the candles on the birthday cake. Doesn’t matter how old we are, how tough we are or how sensitive we are. Deep down inside, we all believe in wishes - close your eyes, toss the coin into the wishing fountain; over the dazzling shooting stars; on eyelashes or in your night prayers. Some believe even more. Every now and then we wish one of those many wishes will come true. So, what if it did? Do we appreciate it or do we continue to have a long list of other wishes to be wished?

No matter what time of year or day we are in, we always wish and the list keeps on going. We, however never wish for easy stuff. We wish for better and bigger things. Things that are ambitious, and sometimes quite impossible. In fact, we wish because we feel insecure, we’re scared, we need help, we need something to believe in. Knowing it is beyond our reach, we still wish because sometimes miracles do happen. After all, we are only humans.

After a long and mentally exhausting thought, I decided to put aside all the ambitious, out of reach wishes. No designer merchandise, no new gadget, no plane tickets, no truckloadfullwithhothunks, no reviving the dead.

My wish is simple this year, a dinner with him, a long lost friend. I know I never want to see you again but I want to tell you things are different this time.

This gift will be as good as all the gifts above.

If you truly believe, wishes do come true.

Imaginary

It's a dreary Saturday morning.

Today is one of those days where I have a million things to do at once, and no inspiration. Staring into the mirror I put on my sun glass, fixed hair and realised life can be miserable.

One day I’m writing a paper on Media Law, and then next my term break is over. I can barely recall the last time I had fun. “Something is missing,” I mumble to myself.

Sometimes if I'm melancholy; it is not because of the endless deadlines. It is the awful knowledge on friends. The mind game was everywhere, friends who pretend to be your friend and then fucking bitch about you (if only I can find the word for it in my brain). I'm tired of people demanding from me and lying right in my face.

When reality hits me in the face it is dreadful, I need to just – get out. Escape. “The pressure on friends and trust is torturing, it is disturbing. I hate it.” I said dryly to my reflection, a little shiver went through me.

Somehow, somewhere deep down inside, I think I kind of miss the life in the States. Life was simple then, although I had no direction in life but I’ve never been happier. When I think of it, I feel a sense of relief. I’m constantly looking back into the photos in search for inspiration and an attempt to cheer myself up.

“I’m someone who is sort of nostalgic and sentimental. (In Ems-way)”

Within seconds, I found myself drifted into this time-travelling machine. Rewind, stop and play – New York City. The smell of New York City is still etched on my mind.


New York City

“Ever fallen in love with somewhere?”

“I did.”

I love New York City. There is something about New York City, something special about it that made me fell in love with the city.

It is the buildings that make the city; it is the people, the central park, the Statue of Liberty, the antique shops, the nightlife, the yellow cabs, the subway system, the anxiety of cultures, race and ages – maybe it is all these that shaped the Big Apple. It is an American dream.

After a good dose of sunny Los Angeles and I couldn’t wait for New York City. I felt a sense of panic as I stepped out the plane.

I suffered a minor state of shock. My version of NYC was always about men in perfectly tailored suit walking down Wall Street and ladies with well manicured fingers and a Harry Winston diamond ring on their middle finger, exclaiming "Oh My God!" as they stroll along Fifth Avenue in their four inches high Prada heels.

As soon as I walk down the streets of 7th Avenue New York, it felt like someone whacked me in the head. It wasn’t the coolest and most hip-and-happening area. The New York City I’ve seen is peopled with different accents, skin colours and financial status. Nothing remotely close to Sex and the City or even The Devil Wears Prada, everything in the movie has been magnified.

Located two blocks away is the subway. “The train do speed up travelling time, and helps to cut traffic and pollution.” I agreed. But travelling through the subway in NYC is still a horrible experience.

When I walked down to the middle of the platform I became nervous. I stood in the cold waiting for the next train; 15 minutes later the trains rumble passed us and stopped. The door opens, and oh god! The stench was unbearable and this was when hell starts.

During the rush hour the train feels like one of those over-crowded parties whereby it is filled with people who smelled like puke, it was a ticket to hell.

“42 Street, Time Square”, the voice came from the speaker. It’s my stop! “Excuse me, Sorry, Excuse me, Sorry Sorry…” I mumble under my breath as I try to push myself out. I managed to get out safely. It was awful, most of the time I try to avoid eye contact, foot stepping and breathing hard in their face.

Whenever I stepped in the station my head starts to spin and is desperate for fresh air. However when it comes to travel, I couldn’t afford to be a prissy princess. I’ve got to bear with it. All I have to do is keep my head down and dream of UrbanOutfitters at the end of the stop.


Time Square

Things were getting very exciting as I first step foot in Time Square. Located in the center of Manhattan lies is a pretty entertaining, glamorous, classy, ambitious yet dirty area. It is surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of people; Time Square is more than a dream. It is a place where hopes and expectation were invested by potential people.

Somehow I realized; all the streets in Manhattan have something in common.

“Everyone is running as if they are running for a Nike shoe advertisement!”

Every corner of this busy city is equivalent to a war zone where bright yellow cabs battle long tour buses that battle pedestrians who then battle against time. Why the fuck they need to run? There is 24 hours a day and it is just work! For God sake, it is not a 10 million worth Toto ticket!

Take a chill pill and relax, breathe.


Rockefeller Centre

“Behold!” a voice whispered in my ear.

And I did.

“I cannot describe how I felt when I arrived at the top of the building; it was love at first sight.”
The scenery just puts you at a loss of words.

Standing all the way up Rockefeller Centre and staring down on the glittering city was breathtaking. The sunset was impressive.

“It was better than falling in love.” It is difficult to express properly the whole experience.

Looking down at the city covered with little bright yellow-white gems, seeing small doted people and cars moving across the roads in a systematic pattern were remarkable.

New York City looked flawless for a second.

“This is the many reasons why I love this city,” I said to myself. All I wanted to do was to stand there forever. As I stood there in the wintry night, I found myself secretly wishing that he should have been here with me.


Chinatown

“I am home!” I said with relief when I arrived at Chinatown.

Swallowing almost half of Little Italy, the colorful streets are filled with old buildings, Chinese written signboards, Tang Lungs and lights decoration, it felt like mini Hong Kong during Chinese New Year.

I loved the restaurants and the food - Hong Kong noodle soup with roasted duck and Chinese tea. Every restaurant looked like it was black Friday in a mall; everyone is busy moving around in their own circle.

“Yak gor char siew pau! (One bbq pork bun)” yelled a worker.

“Hai, lei kan! (Yes, coming up!)” responded another worker.

But to them it’s just another day around here. I guess once in awhile, it is nice hearing people speaking in your own dialect.


The end of the journey

Manhattan, NYC is made up by beautiful sunsets, unique building structure, incredible craftsmanship, unexpected surprises, heartbreaking memories and so forth.

“New York, is my first love”

NYC remains as the city which will make one’s heart skip. The city has the ability to make one jump on the next plane and say "New York, here I come!". No one will ever get bored of New York City. It is a city which makes you fall in love all over again and again with their messes of people and places.

xoxo, Miss doom and gloom.

P/s: One day I can be in love with this person, and few months later it is gone. My love is never consistent. Sometime it happens at the wrong time and on the weirdest person ever. Sometimes it happen because of place and when I’m back to reality it never look and feel the same again. Because this heart skipping- stomach flipping secret is temporarily, therefore I don't do-confess.

Our last stop travelling together.

Everday is a holiday with you

Can we like, "Save the Sharks!"

For the past four months, I only drink water from Dasani. Dasani, my love.

End